Actually my life is in my hands and it is being made by me. This is exactly how I understood it. I realize that where my loved ones and I are, is in two different states of being and actuality. Seeing people becoming comfortable and setting into space without me is sad. But what could I expect I know life continues. When I asked and continued to work for this life I knew it was part of what would happen. I realize that I messed up but now I’m living my greatest moments.